The Sports Informant

I snuck away from a card game to reflect on what today has been. Surprisingly, despite us all having to go to work tomorrow, it’s been a pretty fun day, one full of games and family, one I think this very serious holiday should include.

I hesitated on writing anything at all, recently interviewing a woman for an article for the Mountain Democrat who helped me see Memorial Day in a whole new light (read the front page of the May 22 edition of the Democrat to see the story). A recent widow, losing her soldier husband to the war in Iraq in early 2008, she expressed some frustration about how Memorial Day has become an escape from reality, a time for vacation and not reflection.

Now a resident of El Dorado Hills, she takes care of their children and every Memorial Day shares a somber day of remembrance with the rest of the nation. She watches full families and neighbors fill their SUVs and load their boats for a day of celebration instead of a day of sorrow. Families with dad and mom pack picnics and head to their favorite hot spots to join thousands of other local residents trying to take advantage of an extended weekend and a lucky Monday off.

Her story haunted me as I lay awake last night. I couldn’t imagine losing my father or not being able to see my daughter anymore. Memorial Day would be like Halloween to me, as the ghosts of the past would sit heavy on my mind, keeping me from enjoying even a shred of fun with a community of oblivious Americans reaping the benefits my family member paid the price to protect.

I felt guilty being able to wake up this morning and figure out what my wife, child and I would do with our day off. It felt unfair that I could drive down the street without worrying about being shot at or bombed while some of my friends rode the streets in Iraq at that same very moment fearful of losing their lives. At any minute, their “holiday” could be done, the last Memorial Day they’d ever see alive.

So when my family made plans for the weekend like anyone else, I hesitated jumping at the bit to join in.  “Let’s go camping… let’s go to the lake… let’s barbecue and swim in the pool…” Maybe we shouldn’t, I thought. These soldiers, past and present, deserve our respect, our silence, our remembrance. Laughing the day away joking about trivial things while overeating can’t be the right way to spend a day we’re lucky to have, right?

That’s what I thought until about 3 p.m. Then, reluctantly, I joined the party. After spending the morning missing loved ones I’ve lost, wishing the families of fallen soldiers peace and being thankful for everything I still have in my life, I joined family for a barbecue by the pool. There we played games, laughed, joked, and forgot about work and everything wrong with the outside world. And you know what? I’m so glad we did.

Families spent Memorial Day on the river riding canoes, fishing or just hanging out. (Photo courtesy Tom Paniagua)

It wasn’t until I let myself experience it that I fully understood. It is because our fathers and grandfathers sacrificed their lives that we can enjoy today. It is the fight they fought that keeps us alive and able to celebrate the greatness our country continues to be.

Yes, Memorial Day should be about remembrance. We should honor our soldiers and their work. They’ve kept us safe since the foundation of our nation, and still today we send our sons and daughters to do the same. We should visit the graves of our lost ones and remind ourselves that we can never forget. We should gather as groups and share moments of silence for families in grief from deaths that happened last week or last century. And we should open our minds to the possibility that we won’t always be here to celebrate this holiday.

It’s that last line that brings me to the next, though. It’s because we won’t always be there that we should celebrate while we are. There’s nothing wrong with gathering as a family to bond again, to share stories and grow stronger as a unit of Americans struggling to get by day after day no matter what our circumstances. That’s what America is about. We come together in joy or grief, sadness or excitement, and it’s through our shared love that our nation blossoms even more.

So as I head back to the card game I left so long ago to share that reminder with my readers, I hope that for at least the rest of this day that I can have as much fun as possible with my family before another week of work. Because that’s what our soldiers would do if they were here, and that’s what they give everything to protect, sometimes even their lives.