The Sports Informant

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The Weekly Snitch: March Madness drives my wife insane

By Patrick Ibarra

I can’t focus… the NCAA touranment is on!

Still, I’ll try. While Christmas is the “most wonderful time of the year,” for many sports fans like myself, March Madness comes a close second. Of course, for my wife, and possibly many others like her, it’s the worst time of the year.

Because unlike the Super Bowl, which concludes in one four-hour sitting, March Madness is nearly a month of action, and for the dedicated, four days a week of hardcore following. The first weekend is the worst, as people watch from work or listen to it on the radio, apparently causing a massive meltdown in work productivity in the United States. Hey, don’t blame us for the economy.

But with three games minimum on at a time in the first round, why would we want to do anything else with our day? The dishes can wait. The laundry? I’ll wear stuff inside out. That project we’ve been talking about finishing up on the weekends? Well, that will have to be postponed.

So my wife, who I will boast usually has a very supportive husband, gets a couch potato for a spouse Thursday through Sunday for most of March. Then April rolls around, and she says, “Can we finally focus on other things?”

“Nope, sorry honey, it’s time for the Final Four.”

Growing up, I saw my mother deal with this a lot. My stepfather was a hunter, and he’d disappear for weekends to chase deer around the woods in the fall. In the beginning, it drove my mom crazy. She once hung a sign in the kitchen that read, “We interrupt this marriage to bring you the hunting season.” We all got a laugh about that, but it was true.

I wonder if they sell similar signs for March Mardness. My wife would use it as a bumper sticker.

For all you weary wives out there dealing with my wife’s pain, I apologize for my fellow man. We’re inconsiderate, lazy and selfish in March. It’s almost like we’ve gone insane.

Welcome to March Madness.


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